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06-20-2008, 07:06 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Smokey's number 1 fan
Island Guardian
Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mystery Frickin' Island
Fave Character: Smokey
Lost Item: Jesus Stick
Posts: 6,859
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The Wedding
I know abbs has done one but this is the wedding of Charlie and Kate.
Inspired by Evi and Dom to Marry?. It isnt very good or funny  Chapter 1-The beginning of the wedding. Jack: Oh I love weddings *eyes start to fill up* Mine was beautiful *A tear falls down his face and he drifts off into a flashback* Charlie: Shut up Jack. I don’t want to hear about your sodding wedding this is my big day. It’s bad enough I found you sat outside my house drinking so don’t bloody annoy me anymore. Make yourself useful. Have you seen Locke he said he’d arrive early to help me sort everything out? Jack: Huh? Oh no I haven’t seen him *sniffs* Why did you choose him? I could have been your best man dammit! *cries and takes a swig of alcohol from a bottle hidden in his beard* Charlie: Oh bloody hell Jack don’t make me get your Dad. Look here’s Hurley with the food! Hurley you're late I was…where’s the bloody food?! *Hurley approaches with food all around his mouth and down his clothes* Hurley: Sorry dude the dharma van had abit of trouble *looks down at his clothes* Oh I ate most of the food driving down here. You know I can’t resist dharma food. Charlie: Fanbloodytastic I’ve got a crying drunk and a guy who’s eaten all the guest’s food. Hurley: Dude Dave’s here aswell don’t make him feel left out! Charlie: Oh great I’ve got an imaginary guest aswell. Talk about bad luck. Hurley: Don’t mention bad luck; I’m still a little edgy especially how you decided to have your wedding on the 4th of August at 15:16. Charlie: Well all the 108 guests will remember the date and the time that way. Hurley: Crap. The numbers are bad dude! Don’t you understand the numbers are bad! Jack: *clearly drunk* Hurley the numbers aren’t….the numbers aren’t bad ok? There’s no such thing as what is it? Luck that’s the one *takes another swig*. There’s no such thing as luck. Trust me I’m a man of science and a um a um… Locke *entering*: A doctor Jack. You’re a doctor. Hurley: Dude! You made it! Locke: Why wouldn’t I have made it Hugo? Hurley: Ummm no reason dude *mumbles* it’s just somebody told me you were in a coffin in the future. Locke: Sorry Hugo I didn’t cat… Hurley: umm Charlie! I bought you a present man! *Pulls a Virgin Mary statue out of his pants* Locke: Hugo no! *Locke snatches it and smashes it. Inside there’s a note saying “It’s alright I removed the drugs. Hurley didn’t know what was in it. See you in another life brother”* Charlie: Um thanks Hurley…Anyway can we please get everything ready the guests will be arriving soon! *everyone starts preparing the room* Hurley: So dude why are you marrying Kate? Charlie: Kate? What? I’m marrying Claire aren’t I? Hurley: No dude you’re not. *points to Charlie’s fingers which now say ‘KATE’ instead of ‘FATE/LATE’ Charlie: Bloody hell! *Jack bursts into tears* To be continued.... [maybe ]
__________________
 "Don't mistake coincidence for fate." "I ask for no forgiveness, Father. For I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive."
Last edited by monster-eats-pilot; 06-20-2008 at 09:35 PM. |
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06-20-2008, 09:08 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Smokey's number 1 fan
Island Guardian
Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mystery Frickin' Island
Fave Character: Smokey
Lost Item: Jesus Stick
Posts: 6,859
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Yeah I'm going to gradually add everybody in until it's the actually wedding so Sawyer will be in the next chapter or the one after that
 I love writing about Jack, so easy to make fun of 
__________________
"Don't mistake coincidence for fate." "I ask for no forgiveness, Father. For I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive."
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06-20-2008, 09:16 PM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Smokey's number 1 fan
Island Guardian
Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mystery Frickin' Island
Fave Character: Smokey
Lost Item: Jesus Stick
Posts: 6,859
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Cheers
 It's amazing what I'll write when I've had a lack of food and sleep 
__________________
"Don't mistake coincidence for fate." "I ask for no forgiveness, Father. For I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive."
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06-20-2008, 09:33 PM
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#7 (permalink) |
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Riding downhill in a VW
Island Believer
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Glasvegas
Fave Character: Locke
Lost Item: Whiskey
Posts: 7,559
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Why do you think I post all my Adventure instalments so late it's actually early?
The words just flow out when you're cream-crackered, and luckily enough, brain-dead writing seems to be coherent. I liked Jack's bursting into tears at the fact Charlie's marrying Kate right at the end.
__________________
 Last edited by Him; 06-20-2008 at 09:34 PM. |
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06-20-2008, 09:35 PM
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#8 (permalink) |
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Smokey's number 1 fan
Island Guardian
Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mystery Frickin' Island
Fave Character: Smokey
Lost Item: Jesus Stick
Posts: 6,859
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True
 Which is why I'm going to write some more later tonight.
__________________
"Don't mistake coincidence for fate." "I ask for no forgiveness, Father. For I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive."
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06-21-2008, 01:27 AM
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#9 (permalink) |
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Smokey's number 1 fan
Island Guardian
Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mystery Frickin' Island
Fave Character: Smokey
Lost Item: Jesus Stick
Posts: 6,859
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All the chapter titles are going to be lost episode titles but with a word changed or added or whatever
Chapter 2- Meet Kevin Johnson [and WAAAAALLLLLLT!] Locke: It's going to start raining in 4.23 minutes Charlie. I better put the sweat lodge up outside so the guests can go in it if it's raining. Charlie: *Looks at Jack sobbing* It already is bloody raining. *Locke exits but a minute later comes back in followed by a man.* Hurley: Michael? Michael: Shush man! I’m Kevin Johnson ok? The freighter people are still after me for blowing it up…I mean…. Charlie: Freighter? Hurley: Oh yeah dude a freighter came after you know…died and all these people came and this guy killed… Locke: Hugo we’ve talked about this. Charlie: I died? Jack: Hurley I think there’s something wrong with you, you know. You keep making these statements it's not real. None of it's real! Locke: So are you here for the wedding Michael? Michael: Yeah, is it ok if my boy comes? *Michael goes outside to get 'his boy'* Locke: I've warned you Hugo now you’re going to have to lie. All of you. Bad things will happen if you don’t. Jack: Lie about what John I.... *Michael re-enters with Walt.* Michael: Guys this is WAAAAALLLLLTTTTTTT. Hurley: Hey dude! Locke: Walt, do you want to know a secret? *reaches behind him* I’ve got a present for you. *Locke hands Walt a knife*. You’re special Walt. All you need to do is see your target in your mind's eye. Visualize your target. *Walt stares at Jack* Michael: Hey! Hey! What the hell is going on? You gave my boy a knife? Give me that Walt! We’re going I don’t want to stay here with crazy people… Hurley: I’m NOT crazy dude! Michael:…You can’t give my boy a knife! What’s wrong with you? He’s 10 years old! Come on little man we're going. Walt: Actually dad I’m 16 now and I'm 6ft 11. You don’t know anything about me do you? *runs off* Michael: Waaaaaaaaaaalt! Noooooooooooooo! Waaaaaaaaaaalt! WALT! WALT! *runs out* Charlie: Well this is bloody brilliant isn’t it? Is anybody sane going to come to my wedding or is it just going to be a bunch of nutters? *Someone enters* Sawyer: Was that just taller ghost Walt I saw? *Jack pulls a large bottle of tequila out of his soaking beard* *Another person enters* *Locke swiftly pulls a gun out of Jack’s beard* Locke: Why did you do this TO ME?!!! To be continued….
__________________
"Don't mistake coincidence for fate." "I ask for no forgiveness, Father. For I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive."
Last edited by monster-eats-pilot; 06-21-2008 at 01:32 AM. |
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