Here we go trying to get a release schedule again. I will aim to get chapters up on Sunday/Monday and Friday. Also expect this to go far ages, I have ideas for at least 3 "Seasons" before I finish.
Sayid: Do I get a role in this?
I suppose you can come in at the start of S3.
Now a warning. Hiro and Ando are NERDS. If you don't understand something they say you aren't nerdy enough. Which is a good thing
Chapter 5
Now knowing what needs to be done and how to do it, everyone has split into teams to speed up this funky quest thing to stop Sky buying all decent TV so they can get back to drinking.
We join Team Jack still in the pub with Hiro on the phone....
Hiro: Hey Ando, do you still have the sword?................. What do you mean "Sold it?!
Jack: Put in speaker phone. I wanna hear this
Ando (on the phone): Well my WoW subscription was due and I'd just brought a new computer with 2 Terabytes of RAM and anyway, I thought we'd done with it now.
Hiro: Not only is that sword a relic of Japanese History, it could save TV as we know it and is the source of my powers!
Hang on.... 2 TeraBytes? He drifts off into a world of superfast gaming where Crysis runs on high without lag
Charlie: This means some Japanese wacko's got a samuri sword and its up to a nerd, a doctor and a musician to get it back.
Jack: Ando; who did you sell it to?
Ando: Hold on, I'll check...... Sorry. I've lost the records. Come over here and I'll help you find it.
Hiro: We'll be there soon
Charlie: Awesome. I'll take us. How do we use this thing?
Jack: He said just think about features of the place and time you need to go to. Try focusing on "Ando"
Charlie: OK.
He raises the pendant
Hiro: I really think I should do it.....
The portal opens
Charlie: Too late.
They walk through the Portal
Hiro: It's a desert.
Jack: Yep. Way to go Charlie. We'll die alone here.
Charlie: No we won't. I'll go ask that guy where we are.
He walks over to a man dressed in robes and sandals
Charlie: Excuse me mate, could you tell us where we are?
Man Looks at Charlie as if he's nuts: This is Israel. I'm Andrew and I'm very well thanks for asking.
Charlie: One Moment please.....
He slips away I think this is the Bible.....
[Note: I know this may offend people and the Bible isn't strictly fictional but it's only for 1 episode]
Hiro: What?
He checks his laptop. He's right
Charlie: How can you tell?
Hiro: Quoting from the screen: "Is there Desert? Are people wearing robes and Sandels? Does the Internet work? If Yes Yes Yes chances are you're in The Bible.
The others look puzzled My father gave it to me before we left, said it would be useful
Jack: OK. We know where; more important is how.
Charlie: Well..... At the last second my mind slipped to Andrew, the thing obviously picked up on it, took my Christianity to mean the Bible's Andrew.
Jack: Ok. We try again.
Hiro: Charlie! Be care-
Charlie: Ah! That's hot! What the bloody hell?
Hiro: Its a "Magic" Item. It needs to cooldown before it can be used again.
He touches it lightly. Hmmm... Maybe 2 hours. Maybe more.
Jack: We need somewhere to stay thats out of the way. Hey Andrew, do you know anywhere we can stay for an hour or two?
Andrew: You can stay mine. The door is always open. Well, not literally, that would be stupid.
Jack: Thank you. We won't be long and Charlie cooks a great Toad in the Hole