[firebreathingfishies]

lol thanks everyone

[DAY ONE cont: 11.59am]

[Charlie drags the body bag across the floor, opens the garage door and throws it out with the rubbish]

Charlie: [dusting off his hands] That was bloody easy.

Jack: [slamming his hands down on the bloody table] Dammit!

Sayid: Jack, it was not your fault. I do not imagine anyone would be able to cut off another mans leg with no painkillers and nothing but a hacksaw without them bleeding to death.

Jack: I know this is not my fault. [points to Locke] It’s his!

Locke: Huh?

Jack: [storming towards Locke] I based my medical treatment on your lies!

Locke: My lies? What are you talking about Jack?

Jack: You knew he had been bitten by a shark but you still let me cut off his leg! This is your fault John! You’re a murderer!

[Locke looks aghast]

Sayid: I will not have this rowdy insolence in my garage. Please, Jack, calm down. And John, I’m afraid there is nothing more we can do for Boone. Could you leave?

Locke: [sighing] Well I suppose something good can come out of a thing like this.

Sayid: What possible good could come out of Boone’s death?

Locke: I can update my kidney collection. Where did Charlie put the body?

Charlie: Chucked him out with the rest of the rubbish. I’m not having him lying around in here stinking the bloody place out. I’ve got to work here everyday you know! And I’ve only just got Rodger to bloody stop stinking! [nudges the withered corpse beside him] Isn’t that right, Rodger?

Rodger: ……[head falls off]

Charlie: Bloody right there, mate.

Locke: Well thank you for helping, Sayid. But I must be going. I believe there is a destiny out there with my name on it. [swans off]

Jack: Well if it’s alright with you Sayid I’m going for a lie down. All that sawing has tired me out a bit.

Sayid: Very well, Jack. Although I do not believe I would need your help for very much longer, seeing as there will be no more Boone related injuries for you to help with.

Jack: There’s always something I can fix.

Sayid: Never forget that, Jack. While we are in the fixing business, there is not anything we cannot fix.

[Jack and Sayid share a manly hug. Jack tears up before fleeing back to the room beside the desk]

Sayid: And now perhaps I can have my lunch. [sits down with his lunchbox]

Charlie: [watching from the other side of the room] Did you bring me a sandwich?

Sayid: No.

Charlie: [sad] Oh, okay.

[Before Sayid can take a bite, however, the door bursts open and in comes Kate with a group of screaming children around her]

Kate: Sayid! I need you to fix me up one of those pushchairs that you can put more than one kid in.

Sayid: Goodness Kate, when did you have all of these children?

Kate: Oh, um… All my baby bumps were quite small. Let me introduce you… This is Aaron, this is Clemintine, this is Ji Yeon…

Charlie: [inspecting Aaron] Do I know you?

Aaron: [spits up] Blaga ga ga gooo…

Charlie: [wiping his face] Bloody hell. He’s a bit thick, isn’t he?

Kate: So can you do the pram, Sayid?

Sayid: Of course. As it so happens I have one ready made. I built it last night while pondering over things I could build out of the remaining pipe cleaners and old bed sheets that were left over.

Kate: Hang on, I’ll get my eldest to help you. [Goes outside]

Charlie: Since when was Kate the baby machine?

Sayid: I imagine she is making the most of her freedom since she miraculously got let off with her atrocious crimes.

[Kate returns with Walt]

Walt: Hey guys.

Charlie: Bloody hell!

Kate: This is my eldest son. I thought you might remember each other…

Sayid: But Kate, isn’t Michael Walt’s father? Does that mean…

Kate: Don’t be ridiculous! No after a visit to the birth records office and a full pot of Tippex later it turns out that Walt was my son all along! Isn’t that weird?

Charlie: More like round the bloody twist, pet.

[Door bangs open again and in runs Michael]

Michael: WAAAALLTTT!!!

Walt: Daaad!

Kate: I told you Walt, he isn’t your dad!

Michael: You took ma’ son!! [grabs Walt] C’mon Walt!

Walt: But daad!

[Michael drags Walt outside]

Kate: [shrugging] Well it was worth a try.

Sayid: Well I will just go and fetch the pushchair. Please bear with me a moment. [goes off to get the pushchair]

Charlie: [shuffling closer to Kate] You know, if you ever want kids of you own I’ll be happy to help out.

Kate: [slaps Charlie]

Charlie: ……